Brassieres

Specifically I am going to discuss the sports bra.  At some point when women begin a more active lifestyle this is something that must be considered.  And oh the time you will spend, the money you will spend, unless you are an A cup or less.  Sorry you guys, it is what it is.  And those of  you that spent some time nursing the wee ones? You will have to keep focus during the hunt as well.  You will also have to base the decision process on the type of activity you are interested in.  Mostly I’m getting at,  are you doing anything involving motion and bouncing like activities?  You will have to lock those babies down.  There are serious issues that could result otherwise.  1) It hurts. 2) It hurts to watch.  3) Gravity will take hold and there is just no hope.  

Most sports bras fall into the same category, from A to ???.  They are the uniboob bras.  It’s like a tight, ill fitting, half tank top.  It smushes the girls and you have this weird lump across the chest.  If you are lucky enough to find one tight enough to lock them down, you won’t be able to breath and the back fat will be squished right out the back side.  The A girls here can wear any cute lil thing from the TJMaxx clearance rack.  The rest of us need to keep on the hunt.  I’m not gonna lie, I want a cute one, too.  I want one that doesn’t look like an industrial strength straight jacket from  the back.  (And I’ve had a couple of those.)  

Once you find one that doesn’t mush the girls, or give you the godforbidden uniboob, and it holds you up just so and still allows you to breath, well then you have to get the damn thing on.  I have one that has hooks and velcro straps.  It took me entirely too long to figure out what the hell I was supposed to do with it.  There is nothing pretty about getting it on either.  You shake and shimmy and twist and turn.  And still… it isn’t where it needs to be.  I swear it is a workout just to get the damn thing on.  But then… You have to get it off.  A little sweat and some sore muscles and you have a recipe for disaster.  If you are fortunate enough to have a child willing to help you out, you are golden.  Otherwise, settle in for the fight and hope you don’t end up with your elbow smushed to your ear and the 3 year old thinking you are making up a new game.  

Kisses

What is a kiss? A kiss is a hello. A goodbye. It is a promise. A kiss is reassurance.  A kiss soothes an ache, a hurt, a scrape.  It is a moment.

Moms kiss.  Dads kiss.  Siblings kiss.  Friends kiss.  Lovers kiss.   We kiss the dog.  The cat.  A slobbery kiss on a window pane from a toddler is artwork to cherish.  If you can kiss through morning breath, that is true love.  There are good morning kisses and kisses before saying sweet dreams.  We blow kisses and catch them mid-air.  There are tender kisses, hard kisses, stolen kisses,  eskimo kisses, and butterfly kisses.  

A first kiss is so sweet and new.  I was in the second grade and it was a peck on my cheek.  The first time a boy slipped his tongue in my mouth I was in eighth grade and I thought, “Huh, what the heck is that all about?”  I’ve kissed a few people I don’t care to ever kiss again.  There are a few that I plan to kiss forever.  A good kiss will make you swoon.  It will make your day.  It will sear itself into your brain. 

A world without kisses would lack color and care.  A kiss puts a spring in my step and a glow to my cheek.  So get out there and kiss someone.  

Texas Recall: Tequila & Powdered Donuts

There are many things about a trip to Texas that are awesome.  There is family and laughter.  Fart jokes and tequila shots.  Texas Gold-n-Cheez day glo crackers and Mrs. Baird’s powdered donuts.  They are unparalleled in softness and lack of chemical aftertaste you know.  

There is the requisite trip to the King Ranch Saddle Shop.  As my mom and sister and I stood on the threshold to the shop we exhaled in unison.  Once we crossed over into the bliss we inhaled as deeply as possible in order to properly take in the glorious scent of leather.  Please do not be offended my bovine loving friends.  

My brother and his fiancé had their first wedding shower hosted by my parents.  They received everything from A-Z, literally.  It was an ABC shower.  It was an impressive haul to begin their married life.  

We enjoyed dinner on the bay.  The food everywhere was fantastic.  I wore flip flops for a week!  In February!  A pedicure made it even better.  

Of course, a trip is never complete without a few snags.  It started with reserving the wrong hotel.  Not a huge issue but it messed with our schedule and our trip mojo.  A near huge fucking catastrophe was standing at the ticket counter the next morning at 4AM.  We have traveled for years on Southwest Airlines using the military discount.  Last Friday they decided that reservists didn’t deserve that privilege anymore.  For shits sake, Alan travels at least once a month on this fare.  I have used it multiple times.  But that ticket lady wasn’t having it.  I spent several tense moments on the phone with Alan and valiantly trying to hold my ground at the counter.  I refused to budge.  We went round and round in circles for 30 - 40 minutes.  Alan is making calls.  I’m trying to keep myself together..  They finally tell me I can go.  I immediately burst into tears.  Composure flew out the window.  The agent that had been arguing with me hopped over the scale to give ma a hug and apologize .  In my devolving and bewildered state, I lacked the processing power to ask WTF?  

The highlight of our trip occurred the last night.  Ready? Jack fell off of a stool onto a brick patio and conked his noggin.  Holding him I realized he was bleeding from a lovely gash in the back of his head.  Time to find a doctor.  Pee, hope in the car, grab a towel, and go.  Quite a few tears later we have a head with 5 staples, a mom finally exhaling, a Naner with a headache, and an overwhelming need to get the hell out of Texas and go home.  Yee Haw!

 

 

Until next time…

Hello...

Hello Luvva,

I missed you so.  Did you miss me? You are more beautiful than I remember.  The sounds coming from you thrill me.  Your scent draws me in and I am flooded with memories.  You intoxicate me with strength, power, and freedom.  

Touching you sends quivers through my muscles. My breath quickens, my heart beat is steady and strong.   Sweat rolls down the small of my back as we reunite with passion.   

The separation was sheer agony, but I’m home now.  I realize it will take some work between us to get back to the way things were before, but I am certain this relationship will be better and stronger than before.  I will never forsake you again.  

With much love,

Your adorable little gym rat

Bouncing

If I were allowed to be bouncing off the walls I certainly would be.  The sun is shining.  Yes! I want to go walk, run, dilly dally in the great outdoors.   My muscles are twitching in anticipation of going to the gym. Squats, dead lifts, even the evil burpees are creating a yearning from my core.  My core! Sit ups and push ups and pull ups! Oh my!   

Forced relaxation is something.  My mind cannot slow down even though my body must.  I’m almost 3 weeks out and only 3 more weeks before I can really go wild.  Each day I feel more normal, more whole.  I get one day on and one day on the couch. 

Having not been able to exercise I can definitely appreciate it so much more now.  There will be no excuses.  I have missed it.  It keeps me sane. It keeps me healthy.  It slows the spinning wheels in my head.  And of course, I do love food and being able to eat my freaking cake and have it not stick to my back end is always bonus.